Dedicated to Viktoria-
Have you ever found yourself thinking, “What’s the point?” or “I’m too much,” or even, “I don’t deserve to feel better”?
If so, you’re not alone. So many people struggling with emetophobia feel ashamed of how it affects their lives—and even worse, they feel ashamed for needing help. They believe they’re a burden to their partner, their family, their kids. They feel guilty for their restrictions, avoidances, irritability, and their inability to “just get over it.” Moms, especially, carry this weight heavily—believing they’re failing as parents, as partners, as people. Talk about Mom guilt!
And it shows up in so many moments that most people never talk about.
You can’t go to the amusement park because you’re afraid of getting sick.
You can’t ride the rollercoasters with your kids.
You avoid road trips or have to get out of the car mid-ride because the anxiety is too much.
You leave dinners early. You cancel vacations last-minute, losing money and time—and the guilt eats you alive.
You feel like your life is always being rearranged around this phobia, and it makes you feel powerless, ashamed, and like no one really understands what you’re going through.
You avoid having children or feel like a “bad mom” because you’re constantly irritable, panicked, or emotionally checked out.
Even your career might suffer—you can’t take the job that requires travel, or work in the environment you want to because you’re worried about getting sick, seeing someone be sick, or being trapped. And when you do try to open up about it? You’re met with blank stares. Dismissive comments. Or worse, harsh reactions.
I remember when I was dating, my boyfriend would scream at me in frustration, losing all patience. And for someone with emetophobia, that kind of reaction cuts deep. Because you already have a brutal inner critic. You already hate that this is part of your life. You already feel like you’re failing. And now, the one person you hoped would understand… doesn’t. That sense of shame just doubles.
But here’s what I want you to hear: those thoughts and emotions aren’t truths—they’re symptoms. And they’re rooted in low self-esteem you might not even realize is there. Plus once you’re over your phobia it won’t even matter anymore!
One of my current clients, a sweet 15-year-old girl from Bulgaria, recently shared in her limiting beliefs that she doesn’t think she deserves to get better. As I look into my Zoom screen, staring at her gentle, determined face, my heart breaks. Here is this beautiful soul, full of bravery and strength, and yet she can’t see it. I see it so clearly in her eyes, her energy, her willingness to fight through the discomfort and make changes. She is one of the hardest-working, most dedicated young clients I’ve ever had—and yet, she can’t see her own power.
It’s hard for me not to wish she could see herself the way I do. She is already on the path, and I know, in just a few weeks, she’ll look back and see how far she’s come. But in this moment, I can’t help but wonder: How can she not see how amazing she is? How can she not know that she’s so much more than the beliefs she’s been carrying for so long?
The truth is, it’s all in her lenses—those lenses shaped by fear, shame, and self-doubt. But once she learns to shift those lenses, she’ll see the world and herself in a whole new light. And when that moment comes, she’ll know exactly what I see in her: an incredible person on the brink of something beautiful.
Most people considering recovery don’t know that low self-esteem is part of what’s fueling their emetophobia. Or that social anxiety might be quietly shaping their beliefs and reactions. You might be so used to feeling this way that it just seems like your personality—when in reality, it’s a belief system you learned. And just like it was learned, it can be unlearned.
Even one of my 11-year-old clients once asked me, “Did you feel guilty when you had emetophobia?” That question speaks volumes. Even at a young age, guilt and shame can exist. It’s not your fault—but it is something we can work on together and you can cure yourself!
This isn’t just about stopping the panic attacks or perceived intrusive thoughts. It’s about rebuilding your sense of self-worth, confidence, and control. You are not broken. You are not a burden. You are so worthy of recovery—and I’m here to help you believe that. Are you ready to take the first step?
Coach Lauren
Coach Lauren Singer 
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